Just Words?

[Some illustrations and language are not my own and are used only for the purpose of communication the message posted.]

James 3: 1-12
3Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters,* for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2For all of us make many mistakes. Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect, able to keep the whole body in check with a bridle. 3If we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we guide their whole bodies. 4Or look at ships: though they are so large that it takes strong winds to drive them, yet they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits.
How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! 6And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature,* and is itself set on fire by hell.* 7For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, 8but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. 10From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters,* this ought not to be so. 11Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water? 12Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters,* yield olives, or a grapevine figs? No more can salt water yield fresh.

When I started practicing law, we did not have computers. Obviously, we did not have the internet. Nor did we have email. So it was not that long ago that email, and I also include texting and twittering, was not our primary form of communicating. As a lawyer, one of my primary tools of communicating was writing a letter. To write a letter in those days meant that I would thinks about what I wanted to say, dictate it and have my secretary type it. I would then review it before I signed my name to it and sent it in the mail. Several hours would be pass before my thoughts would be “published”. There were times my secretary, Mary Lou, would come to me and say, “Do you really want to send that?”

Usually that was when I was ranting in my letter about some slight done to me or my client. I would read the letter and realize that the words were not communicating anything but my anger. The letter would accomplish nothing. Into the trash it went. Sometimes I did it on my own, because by the time I read the letter, my anger had passed. Into the trash.

Then came email. I learned to type. I could pound out an email in no time. Then no sooner than my last keystroke, I would stab “send”. My words were instantly published. No reflection. No editing. No second set of eyes. Just out there. Immediately. I would sometimes get a response that was particularly caustic. I would re read my email and say to myself, I cannot believe I sent that. My words had hurt someone. My words had created a problem. My words had reflected poorly on me. And I could not take them back. Not good.

When we were children our parents often quoted us the expression, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Generally this was a welcome comment that brought some comfort, especially after the callous and thoughtless words of one of our friends or classmates hurt us. As children this expression works well and alleviates many problems, but as we mature we begin to see that this catchy phrase really does not help, for it simply does not apply.

The reality is that words can be very hurtful and damaging. They might not hurt us physically as a blow to the body, but they can be even more destructive for their damage does not generally heal as rapidly and as well as wounds we can readily see. The power of words is real and, thus, their use must be recognized and guarded appropriately.

The ability to use words correctly with each other is one of the greatest challenges of our time. Our inability to do so is sometimes at the heart of many of our greatest and most serious problems. These great and serious problems can involve family, church, workplace community, nation, and world.

Families can be destroyed or united by words.
Churches can be wheat of chaff depending on the use of words.
Jobs can be lost or fulfilling depending on words.
Communities can be divided or prosper depending on words.
Nations can rise of fall based on words.

The world can be at war or peace because of words.

James knew this and proclaimed the truth of it in his letter. He describes words as the bridle of a mighty horse. A horse is steered by bridle just as we are steered by words. The giant ship is steered by the tiny rudder, just as our lives are steered by the tongue. Words have tremendous power and impact according to James and we are to be careful how we use them.

James is careful to point pout that the power of words can be either beneficial or toxic. And beneficial or toxic nature of a person’s words depicts the state of that person’s soul at the times the words are spoken. But while the mood of our soul swings about depending on the stresses or joys of our lives, the words we use must be carefully chosen so that an unusually ugly mood does not have a permanent impact on those around us.

We can use the tongue to do so much harm:
· To verbally abuse a spouse.
· To verbally spank a child.
· To ridicule a classmate, colleague or workmate.
· To destroy a disciple.
· To put down another race of people.

Words used in this way are not intended to communicate anything. These are merely verbal assaults I call word bombs. These are words that are generally aimed at a particular person or group of people. When they “go off” they injure. They slam into the target with a force that sinks deep into the soul. They are intended as weapons of destruction.

You can create words that are specific to that person and are intended only to hurt. These are the types of words that we accumulate over time in relationships with other people … like spouses, friends, co-workers, members of the same congregation.

We maintain these drawers in our heads that contain files on everyone we know. One file we have for each is labeled: “Words that will hurt.” When we are not in control of our tongues during a conversation with someone, we often open that file and pull out one of the phrases. It does not matter if the phrase is relevant to the situation, it only matters that it hurts.

Here is an example:

Martha: I’m sorry Lenny, but I just don’t have the energy to go out tonight.
Lenny: Well, Martha, if you got a little exercise and lost some weight, you might have more energy.

Nice, Lenny. I somehow do not think Martha is going to decide to go out now. I suspect that she will either start crying or begin exercising by using you as a heavy bag.

In the award-winning film The Joy Luck Club, one little girl has the capacity, in her own words, "to see the secrets of a chessboard." This special gift enables her to become a national chess champion by age eight. Her only liability is a driven parent, who is both envious of her daughter's gifts and selfishly using her to fulfill her own ambition for wealth and power. At one point, the little girl dares to speak back to her mother. The woman responds first by giving an icy silent treatment, and then by saying to her daughter, "You are nothing. You are nothing at all."

This is how the little girl describes what happened next.

What she said to me was like a curse. This power I had, this belief in what I'd been given, I could actually feel it draining away. I could feel myself becoming so ordinary. And all the secrets that I once saw I couldn't see any more. All I could see were my mistakes and my weaknesses, and the best part of me disappeared.

We can also use the tongue to lift up:
· To tell a spouse--I love you.
· To tell a child--I am proud of you.
· To tell a workmate--Can I help you?
· To hold a fellow Christian’s hand--Can we pray together?
· To knock on a neighbor’s door--Welcome to our neighborhood.
· To tell someone – Thank you.

When I was a soccer coach in Pleasant Hills many years ago, I had a player who decided not to come to practice. At the beginning of the next game I told him he was going to sit because of his absence from practice. He was not happy. I told him that he was one of our best players and that we could always count on him to score goals. I also told him if he was not committed to practice, neither of these would remain true. I then said that he could go into the game, but only if he would be his best and score a goal. I put him into the game and he scored a goal in about 30 seconds.

Cinderella Man tells the true story of boxing legend James J. Braddock (Russell Crowe), who made an incredible comeback during the Great Depression. Injured and arthritic, Braddock's promising career was cut short, and he had to go on public assistance when he couldn't get work at the docks in New Jersey. But when an opportunity came for him to get back in the ring—and provide for his family—he took it, and his world changed.

Now fighting with a purpose, Braddock starts winning fight after fight. He inspires the struggling nation with his perseverance in the midst of hardship. Finally, Braddock wins his way into a showdown with the World Heavyweight Champion, Max Baer.
Baer, a vicious fighter, is notorious for killing two men in the ring. In the days before the fight he ridicules, threatens, and mocks Braddock, and as the world looks on there is great concern for Braddock's life.

When the big day arrives, Braddock's wife sneaks into the bowels of the arena to find her husband in the locker room just moments before the fight. "So you just remember who you are," she says. "You're the Bulldog of Bergen, and the Pride of New Jersey. You're everybody's hope, and the kids' hero. And you are the champion of my heart, James J. Braddock."

Unquestionably, words have been used to inspire, rally, and produce the very best in human society, but they have equally been used to tear down and destroy, bringing great harm to individuals and groups. We need to learn how to use words wisely and constructively to build up and enhance our society. Saint James warns us today of the care that is needed in our use of words.

There are numerous examples in history of how words have been effectively utilized to aid, encourage, and inspire, both individuals and groups.

On November 19, 1863, when President Abraham Lincoln spoke at the dedication of the Gettysburg National Cemetery, he finished his remarks with words that have echoed and been memorized by school-age children since that time: "That government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the earth." Lincoln's words have been the source of inspiration not only for Americans, but all people who seek freedom.

Some seventy years later, another president, Franklin D. Roosevelt, uplifted the American people in the midst of the Great Depression by stating, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself." He went on to articulate his four freedoms: freedom of speech and worship, and freedom from want and fear. He called upon Americans to unite for the common cause and good of all.

In the 1960s, Americans continued to be inspired and motivated by the words of great leaders. John F. Kennedy in his inaugural address on January 20, 1961 challenged Americans: "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." Volunteerism in programs such as the Peace Corps and many other civil and religious groups, seeking to aid those less fortunate, sprang up and gave people reason for hope.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., in probably his most famous speech told those assembled during the "March on Washington": "I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." King dreamed of a colorless society where people would live in an ecumenical spirit of harmony with one another. His words gave inspiration to those associated with the American Civil Rights Movement.

The positive and uplifting use of words has been equaled, unfortunately, with many examples of the destructive use of rhetoric and language.

The Ku Klux Klan preached hatred, racism, and religious intolerance against all who were not white, Anglo-Saxon, and Protestant during its heyday in the 1920s. Adolf Hitler proclaimed death to Jews, leading to the great genocide of the Holocaust. Our contemporary scene continues to experience hate-filled speech between Muslims, Jews, and Christians and even nasty and often "below the belt" verbal jabs in political campaigns. Playing by the rules of decorum no longer seems applicable. In order to get ahead the rule is not to promote your own initiatives but to downplay what others are suggesting. Words as weapons of mass destruction.

So how doe we decide what words to use?

I am a Rotarian, and try to follow the Four Way Test. What is that? In 1932, Herbert J. Taylor, the newly appointed president of a nearly bankrupt Chicago cookware company, believing his employees were in need of an “ethical yardstick,” wrote four questions on a small, white piece of paper. He did this after much prayer and claimed the words were a gift from God:

Is it the TRUTH? Is it FAIR to all concerned? Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS? Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

He came to believe that applying his test to his company’s advertising and sales methods was the key factor that led to the company’s remarkable return to profitability. As Rotary International President, he implemented the Four Way Test as a Rotary creed.

He came to see the test as useful beyond business, writing in his autobiography, “Anyone who checks his thoughts, his words and deeds against The Four-Way Test before he expresses himself or takes action is almost certain to do the right thing.”

This Four Way test is just a suggestion, but it encapsulates the most important thing we can learn from James. Think before you speak. Ask yourself those four questions.

James tells us that we must control the most powerful force in humanity, the tongue. It will have an impact on the world. What impact will it have? It will identify who we are. How will it define us?

Think about that before you hit the send button.

AMEN